Deciding to be a Stay At Home Mom

*Since it's Thursday, I thought I'd have a throwback of some old photos, as well as my story of how I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). Warning: this post is super long.

I've thought a lot about this topic and am frequently asked if I will ever go back to work. My mom worked full-time, usually long hours, and I remember always wishing she was at home. She often tells the story of when she got laid off, and I was so happy because I thought that meant she'd be a SAHM. My older brother tried to bring me back to reality by stating "No, silly, that means we have less money." 

From my own experience of wishing my mom stayed home, I originally thought if I could be a SAHM, I would without question. However, as I was moving up the corporate ladder, I became unsure. Work definitely gave me some fulfillment - I felt my work was valued, that I was seen as an integral member of the team, and I was rewarded with frequent raises and bonuses. I was curious to see how far up the ladder I could climb. I also felt like I was making a contribution to my family, and I didn't have to feel guilty for buying new clothes or shoes.

Trying to keep my butt on the log. 

Once I got pregnant, Matt and I discussed the options. My job at the time had long hours where I usually left home before him and got back after him. There were also times I had to work nights, weekends, and be on call. Matt actual preferred for me to stay at home because of those factors. Since his work hours were unpredictable at times, we wanted one parent to be consistent. Even though I knew staying at home would be more beneficial for our family, I couldn't commit to that decision yet.

Towards the end of my pregnancy and during maternity leave, I was actively looking for day care centers that were on the way to work. I had preferred day care vs. nanny after seeing how my niece thrived at hers. Unfortunately, I was having a tough time finding one I felt comfortable leaving my baby with. I started to get really anxious, but didn't want to settle just because my maternity leave was coming to an end. It was also harder to imagine not being with Leah as each day went by. Two weeks before I was scheduled to return to work, I knew my time was up, and I had to make a decision. I turned in my resignation.

I'm so thankful my boss was totally understanding and kept the door open for me to return should I choose to come back. I'm also thankful Matt supported me throughout this entire process, never pressured me, and let me make the final decision.

*All photos except the top one by Clicky Photography